Dollar Menu Challenge

Disclaimer: Do not try this at home. Actually, scratch that. Try this!

On Sunday afternoon, my friends and I invented a new contest. All you need is $12.84 and one eager friend. Let's call him "Matt." We went to a Wendy's (Five minutes from campus in West Lebanon) and convinced our friend "Matt" to order the entire dollar menu (all 12 items) and attempt to eat it in one sitting. If he succeeded, we would pay for his meal, but if he came up even one fry short, he'd find himself $12.84 in the hole. You're right; he's a moron for ever agreeing to this. What are the 12 items you ask?

1. Junior Cheeseburger Deluxe
2. Junior BBQ Cheeseburger (The toughest according to our contestant)
3. Junior Bacon Cheeseburger
4. Chicken Nuggets (5 pieces)
5. Side Salad
6. Side Caesar Salad
7. Small Frosty
8. Small Soda
9. Chili
10. Baked Potato with Chives
11. Small French Fries
12. Mandarin Orange Cup (Dave Thomas always put nutrition first!)

It took about five minutes for them to ring everything up and collect our change, so in the meantime, the cashiers had already started betting amongst themselves on whether “Matt” could pull off the Miracle Meal. When the food did come, our fearless hero devoured the two hardest items (Chili and Potato) first and with incredible ease. He then slowed to a sluggish pace midway through his alternating plan of burgers and salads. When his demeanor began to sour and in the face of a demoralizing heckle from my buddy "Hoose," he took a page out of the legendary hot dog eater Kobayashi's playbook and started dipping his hamburger in water. This apparently helped, but only for a bit.

But, like a tragic Shakespearean hero, our noble warrior ultimately succumbed to Wendy and her delicious 99 cent treats. He had finished 9 of the items completely and only half a Frosty, a third of a burger, and the fries remained when he threw in the towel. He would end up sharing some of those dollar selections with the parking lot outside as well.

Although he came up a bit short, we all had a tremendous afternoon, including “Matt,” and I’m confident that if eating contests become the next mainstream sport, he will have a long and successful career ahead of him. As for me, it was a great afternoon spent with 8 of my closest friends who lived with me in my freshman dorm and have kept college exciting and fresh at all times.

It ended up being such a great afternoon that we didn’t even make him pay the $12.84.