Wet Hot American Summer (School)

Dear Mom,

Remember how you used to make me take those horrendous summer school classes when I was twelve? How I would have to get up at 7am every sunny July morning, and you would drop me off before heading out to the spend the day relaxing and sun-bathing at the pool, while I roasted in creative writing class, writing limericks about how my teacher should invest in a floor fan, lest all of her students drop dead of heat stroke? Yeah, me too. I HATED summer school.

But this is NOT one of those study-til-you-sweat, sweat-til-you-puke, puke-til-fall-starts summer schools. This is Camp Dartmouth. It's much like that camp you attended up in northern Wisconsin as a kid – minus the counselors and the macaroni art. Basically, the same universal camp principles apply: crushes become romances; new acquaintances become new friendships (which will, like camp friendships, become restrained to postcards and emails when your new buddies leave you in the fall to study in Paris and Copenhagen); boys become men, and girls become…really attractive. Above all, though, camp means getting acquainted (or, in my case, reacquainted…having spent my spring term on the packed subway cars and bustling sidewalks of Buenos Aires) with the outdoors.

Not to knock city life, but life up here in the woods and White Mountains is just, well, more exciting. And I’m not talking about street festivals, town fairs, or juggling unicyclists. I’m talking about splashing into the river from the top of a 50-foot-tall railroad bridge, sliding down natural waterslides cut into the rocks of Franconia Falls, and reaching Mount Moosilauke’s coned, rocky summit above treeline, with clear views across both NH and VT and into Maine, New York, Massachusetts, and Canada! Like I said, it’s like summer camp, except WE set the rules, and Crazy Camp Director Felix isn’t there to enforce them.


Summer "hotspots" are actually the coolest places on or near campus. During the last two weeks, I have swum in the river on at least 7 occasions. Amazingly, it never gets old – if you're sick of hanging out at the swimming dock, you can rent a canoe or kayak, float on rafts down at Mink Brook, walk to the sweetest rope swing in the state, dip in the cascading whitewater of "The Ledges," or jump off cliffs or covered bridges. Within a 15-minute radius of campus, the self-soaking options are countless…and luckily so…it feels like 103 degrees outside right now!

Oh yeah, classes are fine.
Please send those oatmeal raisin cookies I love.

XOXO
Zak